Not Just Horrible, Weasley Horrible
by cuddlebearlove
Summary: 7th in the series. Mrs. Weasley desperately wants Harry as a soninlaw. Will she make this happen, or will Albus convince her otherwise?


Disclaimer: Not mine

Not Just Horrible, Weasley Horrible

"The headmaster wishes you to come to his office." Professor McGonagall informed Harry as he rose from the Gryffindor table after dinner.

"Wonder what the old coot wants now." Ron said.

"Ronald, show respect." barked Hermione.

"I guess I better go find out. If he feels he needs to give me more sex advice, I am declaring permanent abstinence." Harry said, suddenly hoping that he was in trouble.

As he was arriving at the gargoyle that guarded Dumbledore's office, he was shocked to see Ginny coming from the other direction.

"What are you doing here?" Harry asked.

"McGonagall said to come. She said Professor Dumbledore needed me."

Harry was very relieved. If Ginny was going to be here, it was obviously not about sex. He repeated the password his head of house had given him and the two rode up to the office. Dumbledore called them in and they were stunned to see Mr. and Mrs. Weasley.

"What's wrong?" Ginny asked nervously.

"It isn't Voldemort, is it?" Harry questioned.

"Oh no, dears." Mrs. Weasley answered. "Nothing like that."

"Then what?" Ginny questioned again.

"Well," answered her father, "we were hoping we could have a little chat."

"About what?" Ginny pressed.

Mr. Weasley looked uncomfortably at his wife. There was no way this was going to work. For one thing, Ginny was still a third year. She was so young. For another, Harry was only a year older and had been so burdened with the You-Know-Who that he couldn't have had much time to be a simple hormonal teenager.

"Go on, dear." Mrs. Weasley commanded.

Arthur continued. "Molly knows-" he was interrupted by gnashing teeth. "I mean we know," he quickly amended. "that you two are destined to be together."

Ginny's eyes widened and Harry let his mouth fly open.

"Therefore," he continued, "Mol- we felt that we should come have a talk with you."

"No way." Harry murmured, as if he was in a trance.

Mr. Weasley actually felt sorry for the poor boy. However, he didn't want to face his wife's wrath and end up feeling sorry for himself later. It was far better to plunge ahead and pray that Harry and his daughter would forgive him.

"In the wizarding world, it is common for a pure-blooded girl's father to arrange a marriage. Well, it used to be common and in some of the less progressive families it persists. It is normally frowned upon by Weasleys, unless we are talking about Molly wanting Harry in our family. Then it is apparently called for."

Molly grunted her disapproval and Arthur continued.

"Now Harry, Ginny, there are a few things you need to know regarding arranged wizarding marriages." Here Arthur began to look even more uncomfortable. "Harry, it is not necessary for you to remain a virgin. Ginny, however, must."

Harry barely held back a snort. All though she was only a third year, Ginny had already lost her virginity. It was common knowledge among Gryffindors. Well, unless you were Ron. He had no clue that his little sister was impure. Fred and George knew, but they had simply congratulated her on breaking rules.

"Daddy, you said you would never do this to me." Ginny reminded her father.

He chanced a quick glance at Molly and turned to his daughter. "You will do as I say. We all know you like Harry, so just accept this. I am doing you a favor." He mouthed the words 'I'm sorry' so his wife would not see and Ginny let some of her anger dissipate. At least the anger at her father; she was still mad as hell at her mother.

"Now," Arthur carried on, "Ginny, you will have to undergo an exam before the wedding. If you are found to be a virgin, Harry may marry you. If you are found not to be, Harry may either still marry you or publically disgrace you."

"I'm not a pure-blood." Harry reminded them. "Why do I have to abide by pure-blooded customs that are not even practiced by civilized society anymore?"

Molly tutted at the indignation of being called uncivilized and Arthur floundered.

"I don't know. Ask Molly." he finally said.

"Because, that is just the way it is." she snapped. "Now, do not take my daughter before your wedding night. They examiner will be able to tell and Ginny will be humiliated."

"More so than I am right now?" Ginny ground out, teeth clenched.

"Hush, dear." Molly pacified. "Do not get her pregnant now. Having a child out of wedlock is severely frowned upon in the wizarding world, as there are plenty of ways to prevent it. Not that it will matter as I have already told you not to lay with her before the night of your wedding."

Harry glanced at Dumbledore. He was staring at the ceiling and looking genuinely uncomfortable as well. "Good." thought Harry. "Let him squirm. This is probably all his fault anyway."

"Professor?" Ginny asked. "Can't you do something? I don't want to marry Harry."

"What?" shrieked Molly.

"I don't want to marry him." Ginny repeated, slowly. "I want to date more guys and decide who to marry myself."

"What do you mean 'more guys'? What have you been doing at this school?" Molly yelled, getting louder as she went on.

"I don't want to marry here, either." Harry said, hoping to move Ginny out of the direct line of fire.

"And just why not?" Molly demanded. "Isn't she good enough for you? Is it because we are poor?"

"N- no." Harry stuttered. "It- it's be- because I-" looking at Mrs. Weasley with her hands on her hips, face red and ready to scream again made him deeply afraid. "Um- I'm gay."

"Oh dear Merlin." he thought as soon as he had said it. This lie was going to come back to haunt him. He just knew it.

"That's okay." Molly quickly reassured. "It is common for a gay wizard to marry a witch anyway. That way, the wizard can still sire children to carry on the name. Their wife will simply overlook their husband's encounters with other men."

"Like hell I will." Ginny grumbled. She knew Harry wasn't really gay, but could certainly understand the desperation that drove him to say it. She knew far to well how it felt to be under her mother's piercing glare.

"Language." Molly snapped. "So Harry, what do you say?"

"Professor?" Harry asked turning to Dumbledore. He silently pleaded with the man to help him. "What do you think about this?"

"I think it is an archaic. Children should be allowed to grow and mature, then find suitably mates for themselves. It is unfair that a young man should be allowed to engage in sexual activites but a young woman is restricted to one man that she does not even choose for herself." he answered.

This seemed to shut Molly up effectively. She revered Dumbledore and if he thought it was a bad idea, she could not argue with him.

"Very well." she said, stiffly. "Arthur, let's go." She then marched over to the fireplace and flooed home.

"I am so sorry." Arthur said once his wife was gone. "She just gets carried away sometimes. She is not angry now, just disappointed. She really does love you, Harry."

Arthur said good-bye and flooed home as well.

"Thank you, Professor." Harry said.

"Yes, thank you." added Ginny.

Dumbledore smiled and bide them good day. Ginny fled to the library, while Harry returned to the common room.

"What did he want this time?" Ron asked as Harry sat down next to him.

"Your parents wanted to explain how arranged marriages worked." he answered.

"What?" Hermione shrieked. "That is so sexist. I can't believe Mr. and Mrs. Weasley would do that."

Harry explained it was mostly Mrs. Weasley, not Mr. Weasley. Harry and Ron worked together and they eventually pacified Hermone into silence. She mumbled occasionally but said nothing else.

"So you really told Mum you were gay?" Ron asked.

"Yeah." Harry answered with a defeated sigh.

"Hey, Hermione." Ron said, smirking. "Who do you reckon will give Harry a gay sex talk?"

"No one." Harry answered. "Dumbledore already knows I am not gay. I told him when he gave me the talk."

Hermione and Ron exchanged glances. Somehow with Harry's luck, they highly doubted this was the end of it.

A/N: Thanks ever so much to Tobe for suggesting the Weasley's. I didn't go about things exactly as requested, but I think it turned out pretty well, over all. Thanks to all who continue to read, review, and suggest. I am trying to get to everyone, but as I get three to five requests after every story that I write, they are starting to multiply far too rapidly. Anyway, please review.


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